2013: The Year of Change

2013.

Most people are making resolutions that won't stick. Gym memberships increase probably 10 fold. It's like holiday season for gyms out there. But come February the parking lot and equipment see fewer and fewer amounts of spandax. But why?

It's not that we aren't really wanting to make changes. We really do. We want to lose weight, we want to quit smoking, we want to have energy that we used to have... we want, we want, we want.

That's the problem. We don't claim it. We don't change our mindset. We don't start our changes in our minds.

So why the year of change? Why so new-age sounding?

Because this is the year. The year you change your mindset. Starting now. I am. And you no what sealed it for me. {Besides this feeling I cannot get out of my bones.} Putting on a pair of pants of my cousins tonight that were extremely tight. That were making me realize I am not happy with who I have become. I'm tired of preaching what I know to be true, but not following through myself. So this year, is the year I set myself straight. The year I do the things I want to do. The year I make the changes for me.

The year I:

• Lose a few dress sizes.
• Buy my land. 
• Kick of my business. {I'm a doula.}
• Get my birth attendant certification. {I want to become a midwife.}
• Take charge of myself.
• Learn to speak with kindess.
• Learn to bite my tongue, when necessary. 
• Open my heart and mind. 
• Commit to a yoga practice. 
• Exercise my free will. 
• Read my Bible daily. 

So what is this year bringing for you? Are you changing your mindset? Are you starting fresh? Are you not making a resolution, but a true change of mind and heart? And what is your purpose behind it?

Does it really make a difference?

Almost every single home maintenance book or blog I read starts with the first few things. Dishes, beds and laundry. But does it really make a difference? Does making your bed every morning when you get out of bed really make you feel more productive? Does lacing up some shoes and changing out of your pj's really changed the tone of the day?

I'm not sure. I want to say no. *Mainly for selfish ones, I want to stay in my jammies. They are too comfy!*

But what if? What if making your bed every single morning really changed the way you thought of yourself and your day. What if you didn't stop there. Actually got dressed first thing every morning. If you put forth effort does it really change you mindset?

I'd like to start a challenge, mainly for myself. Just make the bed every morning. For the rest of December, as soon as you wake up and pop out of bed, reach over and pull the covers back up. It doesn't have to be perfect. I'm not going to do the old quarter bounce test. Let's see if we find ourselves doing more once our bed is made.

A House Divided Can Not Stand.

I have never shared my family's story. It's not that I'm ashamed of it or embarrassed by it. It is what it is. It's our life's journey to this point. And sadly, it's on that affects several families on this Earth.

We have been homeless. We lost everything we owned and we are working to build it back up. But it's not an easy journey back up the hill. Things have gotten bad at times, worse than being homeless even. Life isn't ideal. And we have a lot of outside influence. But I'm finding one thing to be true no matter how much I deny it. God reigns.

He truly reigns.

And the moments, even  fleeting, when we give ourselves over to Him, we have been blessed beyond measure. We are probably two of the most irresponsible adults on the face of the earth. We didn't have a savings, we lost everything... you get the gist of that. We moved into a hotel with a two-year old while I was pregnant. There is nothing like the feeling of failure when you have no jobs, a car that isn't even legally yours, your pregnant and have HG (so you're vomiting nonstop) and you're living week to week.

You cannot imagine the number of bridges we've burned (and still continue to burn to this day because of our lack of FAITH). None of it has really been worth it. It's done the opposite of everything I've ever dreamed my life would be.

But those moments, those beautiful moments, where you know in you heart no matter what others think of you and you trust and let go..... they are beautiful. They are calming and help you release all the tension you have been bottling in yourself for ages. There is nothing more calming than walking in and releasing your burdens. Knowing you won't be judge. Knowing no matter how many times you fail, you'll always be loved.

This might seem way off beat from what I normally post about. But it was important for me to get it out tonight. Maybe one night I will actually post about my family's story. Maybe I will share all the details. It'll be like an MTV True Life special on here. But for now, it is just important for me to remind myself that God reigns.

A house divided (without God) cannot stand. It is impossible to truly build a home and a family without the Lord in the center of your life.

Fall FSC Week 1

So why the awkward photo you ask?

Well, my favorite blogging gal ever (K.P.) is hosting our Fresh Start Challenge again! Though.. she revamped this one for fall. It's last 6 weeks. Starting today.. so uhh... do the math.

Just kidding! It ends November 16th.

Either way... we are making goals. (Stay tuned for my series on making and sticking to goals, we'll learn together.)

So here are the topics covered on this list. I'd love to hear yours in the comments!

Weight: Be around 185. I say around because I'll be happy with 190 but want to have wiggle (pun not intended) room.

Fitness Goal:  My fitness goal is to ontniue and honestly stick with the eFit30 six week bootcamp. Easier said than done, but I'm going to be honest with myself and at the minimum do half of it daily.

Time: Better management of time to create peace in my mind and more outside play time with my kids.

Life:  Refocus my eyes and mind and heart up the Lord. Also, trust my loved ones more to make the best decision without my critical words.

House: Maintain! Create a cleaning routine and stick to it. But also be open to realize that a messy house means the kids and I are probably having more fun doing other things!

A side view (sans bra) to remember where I'm coming from.

So why a revamp? 
Like you, we get stagnant and stale. We need to refresh, ruffle the feathers and put ourselves back in order. That's all this is about. It's not about a challenge between people. It's about the challenge of oneself to get our minds, heart, and eyes back on the focus.

You may have no weightloss goals! You may have no fitness goals! You may have no life goals!

And that's great! I'm glad you're happy and content. 

But you might me be like me (and dare I say, k.p.) and you want to refresh yourself. For your sanity, and your family's.  And that's great too!!

And of course, on our ongoing list is our going green-er. And things are progressing, just not as fast as I'd like them to. But you know, they say, progress is a slow process (unless your Nelly and your a p.i.m.p.) and I'm ready for a slow, steady change. 

Happy Fresh Start! And hats off to you for shaking your feathers out. Shake your tail feather!

Oddly there is a trend Nelly going on here.

Keep it green,
Hollea

The Political Monster...er, Machine?!

So here we are.  October 1st 2012. Exactly a month and 6 days away from the fate of our great country being decided. And where do I stand?

With neither of the major political parties.

(You mean, you aren't going to vote!? You can't complain if you don't vote!!)

Uhhhh.. wake up Americans. Quit believing everything you see on Fox or NBC or whatever version of the major big monsters you watch (but especially be wary of Fox...they are truly evil.). We have options. We have more than one party or two parties. We do not have to settle for a President we don't FULLY support.

And I cannot fully support either candidate.

Sure there are points about one that I like.  (Don't ask me about the other, I think he's a joke and a half!)

But I'm tired of not having someone stand up for our rights. Enforce the Constitution and not their own agenda. I'm not naive. I know there is several hundred other persons we have to be concerned with as our government works on a checks and balance system with a majority needed to get anything done. But I need someone who is going to stand up to that system. That is going to ignore party affiliation and make sure that the best interest of Americans and our future generations are at heart.

Sure, I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist, but I see it coming. We are headed to a country that is aptly portrayed in movies like V for Vendetta. But if you look at it, one by one by one our government is taking more control of our lives.

Don't believe me... read this.
(Martial Law anyone?)

So I leave you with this.

There are several other political parties to consider (one even just for legalization of cannabis) and they all have good points. Find out which one is for you and make sure you vote. Vote based on your beliefs, not just the lesser of the two evils. Because... the more they see our change, the more they are going to prove us right and eventually enough will get sick of it that some change WILL HAPPEN.

Also,

"People shouldn't be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people." 
V for Vendetta

Quotes of my 3.5 year old

Ahhhhh the joys of Toddler-hood.

You never know what they are going to say from day to day, let alone hour to hour. Like when your son yells out the window to whomever is walking by....

Hey you! HIIIIIIIIIII! Are you having a good day? Do you want to be my friend?  

Yep. Sure kid. That random person walking down Troost Avenue wants to be your friend. Here, as your mom, let me go unlock our backdoor and let him come in a play. I'll ignore the fact that we are home alone while daddy is working and that is an awfully large, rough look person. (Now don't think I'm judging people by their looks, but if I'm home alone, I'm being cautious of everyone-even my friendly neighbors.)

Or here you go. Everyone is bundled up in the house because Missouri weather all of a sudden (like usual) changes from summer to winter in the drop of a pin. So here we are sitting all bundled up and brother bear goes. 

I need a Popsicle because well, it's not time to not eat them anymore.  

Yep. Toddlers have the most random things come out of their mouth. Like walking up to you to tell you all about where everyone in the house goes the bathroom. 

In the middle of the grocery store.

At the top of their lungs. 

Hey MOOOOMMMM, Sister goes poop in her diapers. 

Daddy goes poop in the potty. 

I go poop on the potty. 

You go poop on the potty, right? 

Yes, son.

We go poop out of our butt, right mommy? 

Yes, son. 

We don't wipe our butt with our hands, do we mommy? 

Yes, son, that's right. We use toilet paper. 

Well, one time I used my hand. 

*great, great* 

*Please don't mind us as we go through the basics of wiping oneself and the biology of where poop comes from and why our bodies do it. He's only 3.5, he's just curious. (As I hang my head with shame.)*   

Or how about when he does need help wiping. Yeah, he's got quit a line for that. 

*Screaming*

                             Hey daddy, mommy, buzz light year, butt wiper.....
                                           Woody needs you to come wipe his butt!!!!  

I know, I know, I should cherish everything about my children and realize that one day that they might not want to share everything with me. But some days I do wish I could get a break. Not from my children. Never them. Just the embarrassing questions they come up with. 

So tell me loves, what has your child said that might be "less than pleasant"  ...

 

Life Changes: The Happines Triangle

So as you've noticed, I've been gone. Not blogging. Missing in Action.

I promise there is good reason for this and that when you hear it you too will be as excited as I am {and PaPa Bear is}!

We were just blessed with what I'm calling "The Happiness Triangle".

::Imagine a triangle here::

Our voucher for our scholarship

for the housing program we are 

in was renewed!!*

Papa Bear was given another job offer with more money and more hours!

I'm going to become a doula and breastfeeding educator before the end of the year!

::End imaginary triangle::

So what does this all mean? 

It means our family is finally rebuilding itself from all the turmoil we have dealt with in the last two years. It means that we will finally be able to get out of debt and afford that farm we want on our own. It means that in less than 10 months I will be starting midwife school! It means that we will be able to save for our safety net.

Okay, okay.... I could go on and on and on about what it means for our family. But really what it means is peace.

It's the changes we needed to guarantee our goals and aspirations in this life. And it gives us the freedom to raise our children the way we desired them to be raised. 

I'm not going to lie.. we didn't do it alone. We have an amazing support team and without the grace and love of God, we wouldn't even be where we are today. 

One of these days I  might get the courage to share with all of you where our family lives and how we are overcoming homelessness. It's pretty powerful stuff to go through and you really learn about what's important. 

BUT for now, we are going to live in our glorious "Happiness Triangle". 

God Bless, 

Hollea