I'm tired of the "Mom Enough" battles

It will never end, will it?

What is it you ask? What's driving me to the world's end with exhaustion?

Put simply, it's the, I am a better mom than you attitude. The "Mom Enough". The mommy wars.

I'm done, I'm over it and I no longer care what you think of my parenting style. And I no longer care how you parent (unless you're downright being a neglectful or abusive parents, then I care.), how you raise your littles.

I care less if you vaccinate or not, I care less if you eat whole foods or not, I care less if you circumcise or not. You're the one who has to make decisions based on what's best for your family and their goals. If you need to do any or none of the above, fine.

So why do we succumb to these mommy wars. Why are we so competitive in nature?  Is it really about the other person, or is it about ourselves?

I truly believe it's personal. When we attack someone based on what works for their family, we're not really upset with them. Maybe we're hurt from a decision we made. Or maybe we wish we could be as wonderful as we see them.

Like routine infant circumcision. My son was circumcised. Do I regret it? Regret is too hard of a word for me to use. Do I wish I would have learned more about it at the time. Do I wish that instead of them asking if I wanted it, they would have provided me with unbiased information to make an informed decision? Yes. But that is my burden. My weight. So I find those who are extremist in on area are often dealing with guilt or anger in some area. It might be you circumcised your son and you regret it, so you're now spear heading the intact organization. That's terrific. But please, don't attack another mother because of it.

I don't vaccinate. That's my decision. To tell me that I'll learn when my child dies that I should have vaccinated. Or that my child shouldn't be allowed to take my child in public. You don't know what research or reasons I have for not vaccinating my child.

I breastfeed, you may not. Just because I'm super pro-breastfeeding doesn't mean I'm against you personally for formula feeding. I may be against formula. That doesn't mean I hate the moms who have to or choose to use formula.

See, this list can go on and on. But often the mommy wars start because someone gets upset with what they see others doing because they personally have an issue. Maybe it's jealousy, anger, disappointment or sadness. But it's personal.

We need to remember that.

So let's stop hating. on each other and work on our own personal issues. Let's not judge. Let's teach our children tolerance. No mom is better than the other because her educated decisions vary.

Remember that before you leave a rude or hurtful comment on the next persons post. There is a difference between education and hatred. Statistics and fear mongering. Don't play into the mommy wars. We all want whats best for OUR children. But my children are not your children and your children are not my children. We live different lives with different purposes and convictions.

Help me end the mommy wars. Let's be supporters of each other, no matter our educated decisions.

Keep trucking Green!
{Hollea}

Fresh Start Challenge 6/6/12-My attitude check-in!

So last week I threw my "diet" out the window. And I don't regret it all, one single bit. I have had the best week ever since I quite my diet. It is the most amazing feeling in the world not being strapped by the boundaries that I put in place for myself.

I'm not sure where I have set on my weight loss goals, but I do know that my confidence has been greater this week. It was relieving to not worry about eating a piece of cake with Brother  Bear or drinking that (gasp!) foo-foo coffee! And honestly, I don't care.

You know why?!

I have gone down a pant size!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Yes, all those exclamation points are needed.*

So when I stopped focusing on the negative and more on the positive, I lost one pant size. And they aren't super tight either. It's not any of this 10 pounds of potatoes in a 5 pound bag.

So, I'm very confident that my new, "Fresh Start" attitude is the reason why I'm seeing such a positive change in my life.

******

Today someone mentioned that my attitude is always uplifting. I had to admit that it's easier to be in a good mood than it is to be in a bad one. Even if I am in a bad mood, I fake a good mood. Not because I don't want everyone to think I'm not perfect. Quite the opposite. I choose to be in a good mood. Fake it until you make it, I say. (If you know who really said it, let me know. I'd like to give them credit.) 

Honestly, I didn't have this mindset a year ago. I was dark and dismal like the Murky Dismal (Rainbow Bright). 

If I was in a bad mood, I put you in a bad mood. If I was sad, you were sad. I no longer am that person. I want to give the credit to myself. That I changed my attitude and mindset, but I can't give myself that credit. Honestly, before I met the Lord for the 400th 4th time I was in a dark, dark place. I was lost and headed nowhere good. I have to give Him all the credit. By Him and I finding each other again, I have changed everything. 

My thoughts, my words, my feelings, my reactions... or at least they are a work in progress. I am slowly working towards being who I know the Lord wants me to be in all of these areas. That is why I linked up with MommyhoodByTheHandful to do this "Fresh Start Challenge", it's not about just fitness and health. It's about a fresh start in life, each week. We go to church on Sunday to fill our cups, we check in on Wednesday when we can. I like reflecting on Wednesdays on here of my progress each week. Inside and out progress.

What have you progressed (or regressed) on this week? Check in with your "Fresh Start". I won't hold it against you. Start fresh....again!

I'm going to follow my Lord (Otherwise known as I'm tired of all the drama!)

Our country is great. It's a free country. It's a country where we are allowed to decide what's best for our families on a case by case basis. It's a country that you can be yourself in. You can let your children be themselves in. It's a country where one size fits all isn't true. But lately our country is trying to force us to be all the same. Have the same beliefs, the same rules, and standards for our lives. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the debates on gay marriage and abortion and birth control. I'm tired of the government using these as fronts to ignore the real problems at hand. Our economy, the homeless rate, the number of children in foster homes and orphanages (because they want to take away our birth control rights), the lack of a safe food supply and the fact that they are continuously trying to find new ways to oppress why, all while we are too concerned about the petty things. Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, etc. Please don't tell me you need examples.

Does it directly affect you if Sally gets an abortion? Does it matter to your life if she does? It doesn't mine, that was her life and her choice and she has to deal with it. Does it matter if Harry marries George? Honestly, don't play that "I'm concerned for his eternal soul" card. Because other than you maybe seeing them kiss, it's not going to have any effect on your life. Let them get the tax cut and be treated like normal citizens.

(( Saying these things do NOT mean that I personally agree with them. I'm pro-life and believe by my religious convictions that gay/lesbian marriage is wrong in the eyes of God.  But my beliefs are not your beliefs. My shoes are not your shoes. They may not fit you like they fit me. We can have the same exact dress, but I guarantee one of us is going to look better in it. Me. ))

If you want to take the religious stance here, be human. Remember that not everyone is perfect. All sins are created equal, it doesn't matter what the sin is. If you're going to judge someone so harshly because they choose to lie with another man (or woman) then you're committing sin too. I'm tired of the drama, unfair standards and head games. My religious beliefs are tolerance, love, compassion and empathy. My Lord loves us all because He made us all. He made us in spite of our imperfections and poor choices. He offers us the chance to repent regardless of how many times we commit any said sin.

I went to type in Google to find the exact verse where Jesus says what the greatest commandment is. I was saddened to find out that it popped up where the Bible says homosexuality is wrong first. In Google we are even more concerned about condemning others by using the Lord's word. That's not what Jesus teaches us! He teaches us tolerance. (Btw, I found the verse.)

Matthew 22:36-40

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^{[a] 38} This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^{[b] 40} All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” 

So please, before you give that hatred filled glare or pass judgement on anyone for making a decision that is best for them (on anything!) please remember this...(please notice the BIG Italics)


 John 8:2-11

 "And early in the morning He came again into the Temple, and all the people came unto Him; and He sat down, and taught them." 
"And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto Him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, They say unto Him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the Law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest Thou?"
"This they said, tempting Him, that they might have to accuse Him."
"But Jesus stooped down, and with His finger wrote on the ground, as though He heard them not. So when they continued asking Him, He lifted up Himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again He stooped down, and wrote on the ground."
"And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst."
"When Jesus had lifted up Himself, and saw none but the woman, He said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?"
"She said, No man, Lord."
"And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more."

So let's practice what our Father and Lord teaches us. I dare you. Go a day without judging, condemning or more. Can you have perfect love for entire day? Tell me about it in the comments. I dare you. ;)