Monday, July 9, 2012

I'm tired of the "Mom Enough" battles

It will never end, will it?

What is it you ask? What's driving me to the world's end with exhaustion?

Put simply, it's the, I am a better mom than you attitude. The "Mom Enough". The mommy wars.

I'm done, I'm over it and I no longer care what you think of my parenting style. And I no longer care how you parent (unless you're downright being a neglectful or abusive parents, then I care.), how you raise your littles.

I care less if you vaccinate or not, I care less if you eat whole foods or not, I care less if you circumcise or not. You're the one who has to make decisions based on what's best for your family and their goals. If you need to do any or none of the above, fine.

So why do we succumb to these mommy wars. Why are we so competitive in nature?  Is it really about the other person, or is it about ourselves?

I truly believe it's personal. When we attack someone based on what works for their family, we're not really upset with them. Maybe we're hurt from a decision we made. Or maybe we wish we could be as wonderful as we see them.

Like routine infant circumcision. My son was circumcised. Do I regret it? Regret is too hard of a word for me to use. Do I wish I would have learned more about it at the time. Do I wish that instead of them asking if I wanted it, they would have provided me with unbiased information to make an informed decision? Yes. But that is my burden. My weight. So I find those who are extremist in on area are often dealing with guilt or anger in some area. It might be you circumcised your son and you regret it, so you're now spear heading the intact organization. That's terrific. But please, don't attack another mother because of it.

I don't vaccinate. That's my decision. To tell me that I'll learn when my child dies that I should have vaccinated. Or that my child shouldn't be allowed to take my child in public. You don't know what research or reasons I have for not vaccinating my child.

I breastfeed, you may not. Just because I'm super pro-breastfeeding doesn't mean I'm against you personally for formula feeding. I may be against formula. That doesn't mean I hate the moms who have to or choose to use formula.

See, this list can go on and on. But often the mommy wars start because someone gets upset with what they see others doing because they personally have an issue. Maybe it's jealousy, anger, disappointment or sadness. But it's personal.

We need to remember that.

So let's stop hating. on each other and work on our own personal issues. Let's not judge. Let's teach our children tolerance. No mom is better than the other because her educated decisions vary.

Remember that before you leave a rude or hurtful comment on the next persons post. There is a difference between education and hatred. Statistics and fear mongering. Don't play into the mommy wars. We all want whats best for OUR children. But my children are not your children and your children are not my children. We live different lives with different purposes and convictions.

Help me end the mommy wars. Let's be supporters of each other, no matter our educated decisions.

Keep trucking Green!

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