Quotes of my 3.5 year old

Ahhhhh the joys of Toddler-hood.

You never know what they are going to say from day to day, let alone hour to hour. Like when your son yells out the window to whomever is walking by....

Hey you! HIIIIIIIIIII! Are you having a good day? Do you want to be my friend?  

Yep. Sure kid. That random person walking down Troost Avenue wants to be your friend. Here, as your mom, let me go unlock our backdoor and let him come in a play. I'll ignore the fact that we are home alone while daddy is working and that is an awfully large, rough look person. (Now don't think I'm judging people by their looks, but if I'm home alone, I'm being cautious of everyone-even my friendly neighbors.)

Or here you go. Everyone is bundled up in the house because Missouri weather all of a sudden (like usual) changes from summer to winter in the drop of a pin. So here we are sitting all bundled up and brother bear goes. 

I need a Popsicle because well, it's not time to not eat them anymore.  

Yep. Toddlers have the most random things come out of their mouth. Like walking up to you to tell you all about where everyone in the house goes the bathroom. 

In the middle of the grocery store.

At the top of their lungs. 

Hey MOOOOMMMM, Sister goes poop in her diapers. 

Daddy goes poop in the potty. 

I go poop on the potty. 

You go poop on the potty, right? 

Yes, son.

We go poop out of our butt, right mommy? 

Yes, son. 

We don't wipe our butt with our hands, do we mommy? 

Yes, son, that's right. We use toilet paper. 

Well, one time I used my hand. 

*great, great* 

*Please don't mind us as we go through the basics of wiping oneself and the biology of where poop comes from and why our bodies do it. He's only 3.5, he's just curious. (As I hang my head with shame.)*   

Or how about when he does need help wiping. Yeah, he's got quit a line for that. 

*Screaming*

                             Hey daddy, mommy, buzz light year, butt wiper.....
                                           Woody needs you to come wipe his butt!!!!  

I know, I know, I should cherish everything about my children and realize that one day that they might not want to share everything with me. But some days I do wish I could get a break. Not from my children. Never them. Just the embarrassing questions they come up with. 

So tell me loves, what has your child said that might be "less than pleasant"  ...